On that particular day, I ran for kilometers. My legs took me to a great trip through now with pine forests covered battlefields that witnessed one of the many horrible battles of WW1 where roughly 250000 young men lost their lives. I imagined to be hearing their sad voices through the twilight of the forest. Occasionally blue of the sea was shining from between the trees in distance providing a feeling of comfort.
Then it happened; I found myself in the glass cage and as ironically as it sounds, when I came back to the hotel well after darkness fell, I instinctively knew I had discovered what freedom must have been all about.
In the following years, I searched for the same kind of feeling in different kind of activities including photography; but even though I'm not much of a runner anymore, I found myself comparing the feeling I got doing these to the wonderful mindset I find myself in when running.
When you are about to start to run, the world doesn't like you. The road doesn't like you, the air doesn't like you, the sun doesn't like you, the forest doesn't like you, even your own shoes don't like you. You feel being rejected. But despite all of these you start to move in protest. You take hesitant, very slow steps. It doesn't feel right at all but you keep running patiently, getting slowly faster and faster until you suddenly find yourself under the feeling's spell.
Now you realize that everything around you is sliding by your existence in a pleasant manner. Branches of trees above your head, lane markers under your feet, beams of sun light on your face; they all are sliding. Wind caresses your hair. Everything becomes quieter. You forget about your breath pace. You feel your pulse has become one with the earth's as if you are one giant metronome to the ultimate music. You become the lazy dog sitting at the corner of the street. The fish in the sea. You let go thinking. You are at a place where there is no need for answers. Without the need for words, you become a true voice in the universe.
You are a tiger in the glass cage now.
9 comments:
Did you feel like going out and starting to run after you wrote this?
I very rarely came close to the glass cage feeling..
Last one was luckily couple of days ago.. Lying on the back yard of our house, on the grass, having warm sun rays on me, feeling chilling wind on my face, baby sleeping next to me calmly. I got lost while watching the tree leaves moving in the sky.. It was one good moment among many though ones.. And I felt for couple of minutes so close to the tree leaves..
love
i just had come back from cycling before writing this, canim benim.
kiss lara mey and the hubby for me.
Very nice description of the glass cage feeling. And of running.
Never knew you are a runner (and yes, if you ever were, then you still ARE one; it's like being an alcoholic - you can stop drinking, but you'll always be an alcoholic). I used to do mountain running as a teenager, in competitions and stuff.
Let's go for a Jurmala beach area or forest park run some day when you're in RIX. I'm in; haven't done it for ages, miss the glass cage.
(by the way - writing sometimes has a strangely similar feeling to it. without all the nature part, of course, but it can be similarly meditative)
ya, i used to run a lot. never took part in a competition though apart from a silly regional race on istiklal. can you believe that?? :)
running in rix - by all means. actually bozcaada was/is a perfect place to run.
does arbeit really make you free? maybe goebbels was right for once.
I meant writing, not arbeit; that is, not the arbeit-kind of writing, but the purely creative for-no-purpose kind of writing.
Running in RIX - that can be arranged. From my place, there's a possibility to run through four parks and back. And the beach, and the forest park.
yes, i had understood what you meant.
in my experience, there is a certain moment when you work where you get quite concentrated in what you do as well though. the world starts to slide by there too. that is also a similar feeling.
creativity isn't the key element to me. i think the key element is that the activity isn't too boring, that you have at least some interest/benefit in the subject.
granted, i get close to the feeling when taking pictures, writing (creatively) or when doing theater too. but sometimes i feel it when cooking or when washing the dishes as well. and i have very high hopes about carpentership.
The comment above proves how environmental friendly my brain actually is. It is A class. I'm able to use it at very low energy consumption levels hence reduce CO2 emission levels.
What kind of English is that?
Will you ever take ME running in Bozcaada?
Its excellent the way you describe meditation and how "easily" you felt it. People read thousands of books go to hundreds of workshops and pretend they feel it. And some can get the feeling just farting on the sofa. No, I am not one of them.
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